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Growin' Our Own (page 3)

0013 hrs. Operation Golden Flow

By: General Lee Doofy

A Failure to Study - Conclusion

Fiction- no living intelligent individuals are represented in this writing!

Counseling, A Head Game

Welcome back soldiers and soldierettes. I am pleased to see that we have full attendance for the final lesson. Certificates of completion and merit patches will be available at the end of this session.

At the conclusion of the last lesson Major Mal had just been notified that Ken Worth, one of Mal's drivers, had failed a random drug test. Ken had tested positive for marijuana metabolite.

Ken's failure of a Federal Department of Transportation mandated urinalysis was a first for any of the drivers under major Mal's command. Major Mal, not knowing how to proceed, pressed the shop intercom button and called his lead driver, Tiny, into the office to discuss the situation.

Mal knew that he would get good advice from Tiny. Tiny had done a few years of hard time in the Oklahoma State penitentiary, twenty odd years ago, for narcotics trafficking. Tiny understood a urinalysis; they were and remain to this day a common tool of parole officers.

Mal looked over as Tiny, wearing his favorite tee shirt, walked through the door. The purple tee shirt had large white letters emblazoned across the front; advertising a place in Odessa Texas - Filthy McNasty's Barbie Kew Ribs and Topless Waitresses. The extra thirty pounds of stomach that stretched the shirt over Tiny's belt gave it an aura of belonging to the proper master. Mal was sure that Filthy McNasty would be downright proud to see the six foot four, three hundred pound Tiny in that shirt.

"You lookin' for me, boss?"

"Yeah, I have problem. Ken failed his piss test; he tested positive for marijuana."

"I do not understand any of this. Before Ken started here, assault with a weapon got him eight years in the penal system; a lot of that time was added on for drug use and failed piss tests. He was subject to random piss tests when you pulled him from the halfway house. I know that he knows how to pass a piss test."

"Be that as it may, Ken has failed this piss test and I don't know what to do. Joely is going to have their baby in the next couple of weeks and next month is Christmas. I would feel real uncomfortable letting Ken go under those circumstances."

"Okay boss. If you want to put him on shop duty for awhile, I will keep an eye on him and try to get some work out of him."

"Thanks Tiny, bring him in here and we will see about getting him through the counseling program."

"Ken, Tiny has agreed to take up the slack on your trucking route while you do shop work and attend counseling to get your license reinstated. I have called Drug Free. They have a local counselor that will take your case; it costs five hundred dollars."

"I would like to do that but I do not have the five hundred."

"I will put the five hundred on the company charge card, then deduct it from your wages when you get your driving privileges back."

"Sounds good to me. Thanks Mal."

Credit card in hand, Mal called Drug Free. "Thank you for doing business with us Major, here is the name of the Drug Free certified chemical dependency counselor in your area." Mal wrote the number down and handed it to Ken. Ken called the counselor and left a message on the answering machine.

Three days passed before the counselor returned Ken's call. The counselor then scheduled an appointment with Ken for the following week. Mal was getting a little hot under the collar. He felt that the process should have been moving a little faster.

The day for Ken's first meeting with the counselor finally came. Ken walked into Mal's office after the session. "How did it go Ken?"

"I don't really know."

"What do you mean, you don't really know?"

"Well, to start with that guy won't be doing the counseling. He evaluated me though, and said that he thought counseling would be appropriate treatment for my case. He gave me this list of a half a dozen counselors."

"Just a fuckin' minute. Are you telling me that you have to pick one of them for the counseling?"

"Yep, then when whoever I pick is through counseling me I go back to him, the drug free counselor, for a final evaluation."

"I don't believe this bullshit. You had better call one of those guys on the list and get moving on this. You are paid to drive truck not to sit around in the shop. I need you back on the road sometime in January or I will be forced to hire someone else."

Ken called a few of the names on the list before setting up an appointment.

"Mal, I scheduled an appointment with a counselor named Steven Moreau for Thursday, that is the day after tomorrow. I will talk to him about how long he thinks this will take."

Ken walked into Mal's office Thursday afternoon.

"We have a problem Mal."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me. We have had a problem since August, when you fucked up that first piss test. So what is it now?"

"Mr. Moreau said he thought that he could have me straightened out in ten one hour sessions."

"So what is the big deal? Ten hours isn't very long; just go, spend the ten hours, and get it over with."

"It isn't that simple Mal. He only wants to give me an hour a week, with the baby coming and the Christmas holidays shortly after that, I do not know if I can have it done in January."

"You had better give it your best shot. I am into this for five hundred dollars and I want it over with."

"That brings me to the second problem."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!! Okay I'll bite. What is the second problem?"

"That five hundred you put on the company credit card was only for the Drug Free counselor. For that money he made the decision that my addiction to pot could be cured through counseling. Mr. Moreau will send me back to the Drug Free counselor when he feels that he has cured me of smoking pot. The Drug Free counselor will then do an evaluation and if he agrees with Mr. Moreau, that I am cured, he will reinstate my name with the Federal Department of Transportation.

Mr. Moreau charges eighty dollars an hour; so by my math that is another eight hundred. I don't have the eight hundred. I didn't have the five hundred, so I sure as hell don't have the eight. Mr. Moreau did say it didn't have to be paid up front, but that it had to be paid before he would release me back to the Drug Free counselor."

As what Ken was telling him began to sink in, Mal's face turned red." Those rotten cock suckers; it is nothing but a god damn rip off. They are no better than a bunch of wise guys running a fuckin' racket. You know damn well that they aren't going to cure you or any one else from smoking pot. I could see them working someone through alcohol addiction or possibly an addictive drug, but this pot thing is pure plain bullshit."

"Yeah Mal, it pisses me off too. Mr. Moreau reminds me of you. He looks like an old stoner; gray hair, pony tail, and ear ring in his left ear. He went so far as to tell me not to worry, that he knew my problem was more of a legal one than an addictive one."

"Okay, okay start the fuckin' sessions, when you are through bring me the bill and we will deal with it. You had better plan on paying me back when this bullshit is over with."

"Don't worry, you can take it out of my wages."

The next couple of months passed with a certain amount of tension in the shop. Tiny was good for his word. He covered Ken's work load and his own. Ken came in late, fucked off and attended his weekly session. Joely had a seven pound girl the week of Thanksgiving.

Ken came to Mal's desk the last week of January. "I have finished the counseling; here is the bill. Mr. Moreau will call the Drug Free counselor after you pay him. He gave me this credit card receipt and asked me to have you call him."

Mal took the receipt from Ken. "I will call the blood sucking leech and take care of this; just remember this will make it thirteen hundred that you owe me and it is going to start coming out of your paycheck."

"No problem."

Mal called Mr. Moreau and put the eight hundred on the company credit card. "Thanks Major. I will call the Drug Free counselor and tell him that Ken Worth has finished his counseling. This is Thursday Ken should be able to get in for his evaluation early next week. Thanks again, Major."

Mal remained silent, hung up the phone, and tried to wrap his mind around the situation. Counseling pot smokers; what a bunch of crap.

Mal thought about Anna; a psychiatric nurse who smoked a bowl every night after her shift. Mal, through his association with Anna, had met a few counselors socially. Counselors with masters degrees and doctorates; smoking pot, with a whiskey flask in their jacket pocket, and a vodka bottle in their bottom desk drawer. What a bunch of fuckin' hypocrites. In their defense it could be said that at least they understood a driver's dilemma; understood it enough to capitalize on it.

The whole deal smelled. Why didn't these counselors with their understanding of the pot situation speak up? That was and is more than can be expected. For one thing it would expose them as pot smokers. For another, why would they kill their cash cow? The more fucked up that society is perceived to be the better their cash flow.

One would think that with alcoholism, sexual abuse, child abuse, gambling addictions, spousal abuse, and the myriad of problems and crises facing the world today, that the counselors and doctors could put their own prejudices aside long enough to come forward with a workable solution to marijuana smoking.

Mal summed up counselors with this final thought:

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, But, I am not sure you realize that what you heard Is not what I meant.

Ken's final appointment with Drug Free had been scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. Mal called Tiny into the office Monday afternoon. "Tiny, Ken didn't show up, or call in sick today."

"Do you want me to call him?"

"No, we will wait it out and see what happens. I just wanted you to know."

Tuesday came, and still not a word from Ken. Mal called Tiny into the office again. "What do you think we should do? Ken has his meeting with the Drug Free counselor in an hour and I haven't heard from him."

"You had better call him."

Mal dialed Ken's number and Joely answered. "Joely this is Mal. Is everything alright? I haven't heard from Ken and his appointment is in an hour."

"I had better let you talk to Ken about it; he is here."

"Mal, I have thought it over and I am not going to the meeting."

"What do you mean you are not going to the meeting? It is the last one, when you are through there you can take a return to duty piss test and get back to work."

"That's the thing Mal, I am quitting. I don't want to drive anymore, it isn't worth it."

"What about the thirteen hundred you owe me?"

"Oh yeah sorry about that."

"Well don't be stupid about it. Go for the last meeting so that your name is reinstated then, if you decide to clean up your act, you can do a return to duty piss test and start driving. I hate to see you waste the experience and training it took you to get your class A license, not to mention the thirteen hundred."

"No I have made up my mind. I am going to blow off the meeting and I am quitting."

"That is the dumbest thing I have seen anyone do in quite awhile."

"Just figure out what you owe me on my last check and have it ready. I will be in to pick it up."

"Bullshit, I don't owe you anything . You owe me for the thirteen hundred I just shelled out for this crap."

"I didn't sign anything, so you can't prove that I owe you. I talked to the labor relations board this morning and they said you have to give me my final check. Today is payday and you are required by law to pay me."

"Fuck you."

Mal and Tiny were sitting in the office, an hour later, when Ken walked in the door.

"Where's my check?"

"I told you I that am not giving it to you. I am deducting it from what you owe the company; that still leaves you with a balance due to the company."

Ken approached Mal and shoved his chest into him. "You had better give me the check."

"I am not giving you any thing. You had better back off or make your move."

"I know better than that. I did my time for assault. I've been there and done that."

"Then I think you should leave."

Ken slammed the door on his way out. "You will be hearing from the labor relations board."

Mal looked over at Tiny. "What the fuck is going on?"

"He set you up, boss. Look at it this way. He had over two months of shop duty with full pay, he hung around his house, and he didn't come to work any more than he had to. Joely has had the baby, the holidays are past, and with the new baby he just got a nice fat income tax return check. Hell boss, he knew plenty about the piss test procedures. He used the piss test to set up his own severance package."

"You are probably right, Tiny. Now I will find out how much he knows about labor relations and pay checks. Schedule the other drivers in the office tomorrow afternoon. We are going to set some company policy."

"Okay boss."

Mal addressed his drivers that afternoon. Every driver was required to sign a company form stating that they had attended the meeting.

Mal told them that he would not tolerate any sign of drug or alcohol use by any employee or driver, period. He informed them that if he became suspicious, he would have Tiny send them for a piss test. If anyone failed the test it would be cause for immediate termination.

Two weeks had passed, when Mal put his hand in the mailbox and retrieved a bulky envelope from the Department of Labor and Industry. Good to his word, Ken had filed a complaint. Mal replied with the receipts that had been paid by the company on Ken's behalf. The only good news in the entire situation was that Labor and Industry sided with Mal. A bitter sweet victory at best.

Soldiers and soldierettes, that is Major Mal Function's experience or tale of woe. It is just one example of how a piss test, which could well be construed as a violation of your fourth amendment rights, can cause dissension between our own soldiers.

I started this lecture by stating that I would not expound on the issue of your fourth amendment rights. I stated "It would be a good idea for you to go to the NORML web page and check some of these things out." Lester Grinspoon (a spokesperson of unimpeachable morals and ethics) has retired and Keith Stroup probably isn't far from it. It is time to show some support.

It is now becoming a practice for high schools to piss test students that want to join extracurricular activities. If a college student is caught smoking pot, it is the end of any type of government grants or loans for that student. When the government gets around to withholding social security payments for individuals with a pot bust they will have cured the populace of pot addiction.

I started this lecture on how smoking pot related to an individual's ability to perform a task, such as nursing or driving. I will finish it in that regard, by referring to an article by Dr. Franklin Jones. Dr. Jones was a member of the Cannabis Institute of America, circa 1976.

The following is an excerpt from an article Dr. Jones submitted to HEAD magazine for the Nov./Dec.1976 issue.

".....What turned up over and over was that, although marijuana smokers continually proved that they were not straight in tests involving attention and concentration, they nonetheless seemed almost unaffected by the drug when it came to driving safety. What was even more surprising,; a smoker tended to be very aware of his being "high" and unlike the behavior of the drinking driver, the marijuana smoker either actively compensated for it, or was reluctant to drive at all."

These results are hardly going to help the war against drugs . Although pot didn't affect reaction time, it did create a mass of paranoid drivers, consciously cautious and often unwilling to drive until they felt able to cope with the situation, keeping under the speed limit nervously glancing at the speedometer, afraid to pass other cars. It sounds like just the thing to give those semi conscious over-confidant juicers to keep them from driving like they were in a destruction derby. But that would be a rather useless suggestion because Uncle Sam gives the grant money and he doesn't want to hear about that. When it comes to government sponsored research on marijuana, if you can't say anything negative, don't say anything at all. Just record the findings, sound negative and ask for more funds for another study. A perfect example of this sort of conclusion are findings of Dr. Fred Benjamin of the Department of Transportation, as quoted:

"Preliminary evidence indicates that marijuana impairs the ability to drive. However, marijuana apparently is not a significant factor in the statistical incidence of fatal and non-fatal accidents. These two observations, if combined, indicate that either the marijuana smoker is conscious of his impairment and avoids driving, or that he manages to compensate for the deficiency, at least to some extent. These are tentative findings, and considerable work is required to establish more reliable data."

That is a gem of scientific double talk. What it translates to is "marijuana ought to be dangerous, but damned if we can find anyone getting into accidents, even small ones. If you put those two together, it means that either those guys aren't driving at all because they know they are stoned , or they can drive O.K. when they are stoned. At any rate, let's run another study." And so it goes................

That excerpt from Head magazine was twenty five years ago. At that time piss tests for marijuana that could give reliable results had not been developed. Current tests can give reliable results. The current tests do not, however, specify how long it has been since the smoker has had his last toke. The tests have detection parameters of up to thirty days. This holds the smoker out to be engaged in criminal behavior regardless of his ability to safely operate machinery.

There have finally been enough studies to justify what the Department of Transportation and our government wanted. The eradication of marijuana use, regardless of all logic and reason.

We are witnessing the growth of medical, testing, and counseling industries, often times staffed by marijuana users, that for financial gain feed off of the misfortunes of their fellow marijuana users. It is no longer about right or wrong. It is about dollars, winners, and losers; wait maybe it always has been that way. To admit that means to admit that we value money over our constitutional rights.

We have reached a point where we have sacrificed our rights to reasonable search and seizure in compliance with the wishes of the very government we rely on to protect those rights.

Soldiers and soldierettes, we are losing this war. If we do not all stand up and be counted it is going to be over in short order. Please get off your asses and do something. Even if it is only to admit your use or feelings to a family member, do something.

Dismissed

Smoke it if ya got it .......Grow it if ya need it

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