The only marijuana magazine bringing you the stories of other pot smokers and smugglers.

Quick Hits (Page 3)

You can drive high in Idaho

By: Roger Bessler

SAN FRANCISCO -- You can drive high in Idaho, as long as you can drive straight -- just don't forget your Fourth and Fifth Amendment rights.

In overturning an impaired driving conviction, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of appeals ruled Monday that a loop-hole in Idaho law means marijuana users can drive legally as long as they don't drive erratically and can pass a field sobriety test.

A three-judge panel of the San Francisco-based court wrote that Idaho's impaired driving law makes it illegal to drive under the influence of alcohol and narcotics. But Idaho doesn't list marijuana as a narcotic.

The court wrote:

"However, a close reading of Idaho's DUI statute reveals that Officer Patterson did not have probable cause to arrest Patzer for driving under the influence of marijuana.

"an officer may not arrest a person for driving after using a non-narcotic drug without probable cause to believe the person's ability to drive safely is impaired. We agree with this reading. Not only must the government show that Officer Patterson had probable cause to believe that Patzer was "under the influence," but such influence must have been "to a degree which impairs the driver's ability to safely operate a motor vehicle, if each clause of the sentence is to have meaning."

Further, Patzer's attorney questioned the arresting officer at length pertaining to Patzer's ability to drive.

"Officer Patterson's responses and descriptions of Patzer's behavior reveal that Patzer's driving and comportment did not evidence any impairment. Given the distinction drawn by the statute, there is no basis to conclude that impairment may be presumed upon admission of use of a non-narcotic drug."

The government argued and failed to convince the judges that marijuana is a narcotic drug.

"The government's response to this argument is that marijuana is a narcotic, and so a showing of impairment is not required. However, Idaho statutory law consistently defines marijuana as outside the category of narcotic drugs."

The case hung on a very interesting point, a person's rights under Miranda.

"Officer Patterson placed Patzer under arrest for driving under the influence, and put him in the squad car without reading him his Miranda rights."

Patterson then proceeded to search Patzer's vehicle.

During the search illegal weapons were found, sawed off shotguns and hand grenades. Patterson called for the Chief of Police. Upon arriving at the scene, Chief Elfering and Patterson questioned Patzer some more. Finally Elfering recited, to a vague degree, Miranda rights to Patzer.

However, it was too little and far too late. The court concluded the arrest was unlawful and all evidence seized was therefore unlawful based upon the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine.

"Patzer's arrest was unlawful. The evidence obtained after his arrest, including his own statements, his passenger's statements, and the physical evidence found during the search of his vehicle, were "fruit of the poisonous tree " and should have been suppressed by the district court. The judgment of conviction is REVERSED and the case is REMANDED."

Click here for more Quick Hits.

Growin' Our Own (Page 3)

0013 hrs. Operation Golden Flow

By: General Lee Doofy

Piss on piss tests Part 1. The Nurse

We all know that it is not possible to study for an urinalysis - for the edification of you new recruits that is a piss test. If you agree with that - hit the deck and give me twenty - you are wrong. This army is not looking for yes men. Listen up; you need to get this right.

It would be redundant to tell you how the piss test is an erosion of your fourth amendment rights. That has been very thoroughly documented by the hard working headquarters division at NORML. Their website outlines that aspect in its entirety.

What I am going to outline for you troops and troopettes is the reality of the piss test on the front lines and in the trenches. Wake up there in the back! This is serious stuff!! your livelihood, if not your freedom may depend on this some day.

A review of the problems encountered by a nurse and a driver, under Major Mal Function's command, should give you the idea. The Major is in charge of a mechanized division in the north west quadrant. The Major's men drive truck. They haul hazardous materials throughout the region. Mostly fuels and combustible oils in eighteen wheelers (large semi tankers).

Driving conditions range from ice covered winter roads with sub zero f. temperatures, to tourist clogged summer routes that resemble the 'dodge em bang em' cars at the carnival. Needless to say safe fuel transport requires skilled drivers.

Now to the crux of the lesson. Feel free to take notes. The United States Department of Transportation was given the authority to require all commercial drivers to submit to random piss tests. The alternative to testing is for drivers to surrender their commercial licenses. The drivers are listed with Major Mal's company insurance carrier and registered with a computer operated testing program.

The computer randomly pulls a driver's name. Major Mal then has to bring the driver in from the road and send him or her into the nearest clinic that is certified with the program. Upon arriving at the clinic the driver is sent into a room where he or she must urinate into a cup. After urinating into the cup the driver then turns it over to clinic personnel. The clinic personnel label the sample and send it to the lab. The lab then tests the urine for THC, cocaine, PCP, opiates and amphetamines.

If the lab tests of the urine detect any of the listed controlled substances the driver is notified. The driver is then allowed to contest the results and request the sample be retested. The problems are that they retest the same sample and the driver has to pay for the second test. So if the sample actually was hot the first time, it is still hot the second time.

Hold on a minute! I hear some of you mumbling about - the kits -. Yes, that is correct. There are quite a few kits and methods on the market that the troops can use to either replace their piss, adulterate it, or purge their system. The head magazines are full of advertisements; Guaranteed - Money Back - Best On The Market - etc. etc. DO NOT let this give you a false sense of security.

Due to the time factor required of the ingested kits, you need an advance warning. You may be watched while pissing in the cup with others. These and other factors can and do make the entire procedure a little tricky.

The first snafu (military acronym for same as normal all fucked up)

Nurse Anna Septic, the division nurse, was applying for a new job at the local hospital. The Major came home the evening Anna received her application to find her distraught and touchy. "What the hell is the matter with you Anna?"

"Oh Mal, they said I have to give a urine sample."

"Who said that?"

"For Christ's sakes, the hospital said it. It's hospital policy."

"All right, just calm down. When do you have to give the sample?"

"Next Tuesday when I turn in the application."

"No problem you have six days to prepare. There is a little store down town that sells those piss adulteration kits from under the counter. I'll go get you one."

The Major went to the store, some kind of pseudo head shop, and purchased a kit for Anna. In the mean time Anna had talked to one of the Major's drivers and he gave her a kit.

Anna read the directions. Anna is fifty and has smoked pot since she was seventeen. She wasn't going to take any chances.

The kits were of two different brands but both said essentially the same thing. Drink a lot of water and test after a couple of hours and within a prescribed time frame. It was too soon to actually take the stuff but since she had six days, Anna figured she would get a head start, she gave up her daily meditative puff and downed the first kit. For the next five days every time the Major saw Anna she was drinking copious amounts of water. Then on the evening of day five Anna ingested the second kit, along with more water.

On the morning of day six Anna turned in her completed application and went to the clinic to give her urine sample. The clinic nurse handed Anna the sample jar and pointed her to the restroom. The clinic nurse didn't accompany Anna. I can see her reasoning; with Anna's age and being a fellow nurse and all.

Anna pissed in the cup and took it out to the nurse. The nurse looked at it and then at Anna. "Anna this won't be acceptable at the lab."

"Why not? "Anna asked as she began to sweat."

"It looks just like water. It isn't even yellow."

Thinking fast Anna gave a reply. " I have had a cold and have been purging my system."

"Okay I will send it to the lab and see what they say."

Three days passed before the clinic called Anna. "Anna we weren't able to test your sample. Will you come in tomorrow and give us another?"

"Sure, no problem."

Now Anna didn't know what to do. Would the residual affects of over thirty years of smoking pot have moved back into her system? She went to a nutrition center and purchased and ingested a product called golden seal; figuring that at least she would have yellow piss.

The next day Anna went back to the clinic and pissed in the cup again. That time it was yellow. About a week passed, then Anna got the call. "Anna your application looked fine and you passed the urine test. Will you come in on Monday and begin orientation?"

Anna got the job, but I would caution you to never count on being so lucky. You must remember that age does have its advantages.

The hospital's reason; if nurses are on drugs they are liable to steal drugs from the hospital. Some of that reasoning is understandable, some is not. If medical marijuana was legitimized, I could possibly be persuaded to see where individuals might devote several years of their lives studying for the nursing profession in hopes of pilfering a dimes worth of pot. So lets keep pushing for medical marijuana . Might as well give the nurses an opportunity to raid the THC containers while adding some justification for that portion of the piss test.

The hospitals are not the only places of employment that are requiring piss tests. Places like Home Depot etc. are beginning to put out signs requiring signed consent forms for urinalysis prior to employment.

That makes it more than important that you know how to pass a piss test. If you have stayed awake this far be sure to be in attendance for the next meeting. We will then discuss piss kit additives and clean piss, as I relate the misfortune of a driver in:

Part 2. The Driver

At Ease,

grow it if ya need it .... smoke it if ya got it

Click here for more Growin' Our Own.

Pipeline (Page 3)

Super Bowloney

By: The Libertarian Party

Statue of Liberty WASHINGTON, DC -- The Super Bowl advertisements claiming that Americans who use illegal drugs help finance terrorists were dishonest, outrageous, and a waste of taxpayers' money, the Libertarian Party charged.

"These Super Bowl ads were Super Bowloney," said Ron Crickenberger, the party's political director. "For the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy to claim that drug users are to blame for financing terrorists is like a maniac who kills his parents, and then throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan."

"The fact is, it's the War on Drugs that causes the very problem these ads complain about. The War on Drugs enriches terrorists, finances violence, and makes America less safe. And no amount of advertising spin can change that."

On Super Sunday, the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) spent about $3.4 million to run two 30-second advertisements during the Super Bowl. It was the largest single government ad purchase in U.S. history.

One of the ads, which pretended to show a terrorist buying weapons, explosives, and fake passports, asked: "Where do terrorists get their money? If you buy drugs, some of it might come from you." In the other ad, young people matter-of-factly made statements like, "I helped kill a judge."

However, in reality, the War on Drugs -- not peaceful Americans who use drugs -- is responsible for funneling tens of billions of dollars into the hands of murderous terrorists, said Crickenberger.

According to the United Nations, the illegal drug trade is worth $400 billion a year, he noted. And according to the Hoover Institution, drug prohibition drives up the prices of drugs by about 17,000%.

"The War on Drugs is a price support system for terrorists and drug pushers," he said. "It turns ordinary, cheap plants like marijuana and poppies into fantastically lucrative black market products. Without the War on Drugs, the financial engine that fuels terrorist organizations would sputter to a halt."

That's not the only way the War on Drugs makes America more vulnerable to terrorists, said Crickenberger. The War on Drugs also misdirects police resources.

In 2000, for example, police arrested an estimated 734,498 people for marijuana violations, most for simple possession, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Uniform Crime Report. In addition, more than 8,000 military personnel participate in anti-drug missions on U.S. soil, and more than 19,000 state and local police work full-time on drug cases. The total cost: About $50 billion a year at the federal, state, and local levels.

"Law enforcement agencies have only a finite amount of money, people, and time to investigate crimes," said Crickenberger. "It's clear that politicians have made the tragically ill-advised decision that detecting murderous terrorists is less important than arresting non-violent Americans who choose to use marijuana or other drugs."

So who is really to blame for helping terrorists?

"Forget what you saw on the Super Bowl," said Crickenberger. "If you are looking for the real cause of the drugs and terrorism connection, you need look no further than the politicians who voted for the War on Drugs, the federal bureaucrats who administer it, and the ONDCP spin-meisters who try to blame the 95 million Americans who have used illegal drugs."

Click here for more Pipeline.

Nail 'em Josephine