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Growin' Our Own (page 2)

Uncle Sam's Marijuana Club

By: Elmore Stone

You could take that title any number of ways. Most would be wrong. The correct way is just by the initials. U. S. M. C. That's right - it is the acronym for the United States Marine Corps, aka Uncle Sam's Marijuana Club.

Back in the 60's and 70's anyone who was in the Corps and stationed somewhere on the the west coast of the U.S. would, in time, get transfered either to Nam, Okinawa or Japan. Which in turn meant, most of the time at least, a trip to Thailand.

I assume most people reading this already know about Thai weed. The epitome of Asian weed. No weed finer, at least in Asia, could be found. And I can guarantee you that nowhere else in the world could you get such a stony weed for so little money. You could buy it anywhere. It was a stoner's paradise. Probably still is. If nothing else, it is now, at the very least, an adult's paradise.

In the early 1970's I was a very proud member of the U. S. M. C. At that time I was assigned to H & S Company, First Battalion, Ninth Marines, Third Marine Division; or in Marine parlance, H/S 1/9 3MarDiv. Our battalion had just left Nam being air-lifted to the carrier USS Hancock, though we called it the handjob with good reason. We had been told we were heading back to the rock, Okinawa, our home base. Well somewhere along the chain of command someone made a decision and the next thing we knew, as it was announced to us over the ship's announcement system, is that we were heading first to Thailand for five whole days of "R&R." By the way, R&R officially stands for Rest and Relaxation. Unofficially it stands for getting laid and getting stoned and everybody knew it.

A few days later (we bored holes in the water until payday arrived) we tied up to the biggest pier that would handle a carrier in glorious Sattahip, Thailand. All 2,000 of us Marines were told in no uncertain terms to (a) wear a condom, (b) don't raise the prostitute rates, the Air Force will get pissed (c) don't put any Thai money in your shoe, it's insulting to the Thai people and (d) don't get caught with drugs by the Thai police. Finally, everyone of us were given maps showing on limit areas and off limit areas. Naturally, most of us went to the off limit areas first.

At the time there were three bases in Thailand; one Navy base, Sattahip, and two Air Force bases, Utapao, a B-52 base and Udon (Muang), a special operations base. I think only Udong remains. Be that as it may, once off the boat I went straight to Lloyd's of London Bank and exchanged all my greenbacks, except for $20.00 to Thai money, Bhat. The exchange rate was 17 Bhat to the dollar. Wow, what a load of cash! I could and did live like a king - for a few days anyway.

I caught a bus which took me to Bangkok, the capitol of Thailand and the capitol of sin. The Philippines doesn't hold a candle to Bangkok. I loved it and it loved me. Once in Bangkok I took a rickshaw to 12th street. 12th street was one of the off limit areas. It also was home to window shopping. Window shopping for prostitutes and drugs, primarily weed, hash and opium. Pick what you want, as much as you want, negotiate the total price and have a great time. That went for both the prostitutes and the drugs. Kind of a package deal, if you know what I mean.

I negotiated with the proprietor of the establishment. Well, it sounds good anyway. The prices were so good that the only reason I even bothered was so neither of us would lose face with the other. For a short time (cum and go) the price was 34 Bhat or $2.00. For an all nighter (24 hours), the price was 85 Bhat or $5.00 per 24 hours, per woman. I rented two women for the entire five days. Total price, was 850 Bhat or $50.00. Food was on them.

The weed, on the other hand, was something else. It came in two forms, a party pack which is five ready to smoke joints in a sealed plastic bag for $1.00 or 17 cents for a single Thai stick. Whoa. You have got to understand the Thai stick. It looked like a cigar. Approximately 1 inch in diameter and 10 - 12 inches in length. The buds and leaves are bound together with either straw or twine. Pure heaven. Just think of the number of joints you can make out of just one stick. And it is, without doubt, the finest smoke in all Asia. Very smooth with a real good, fairly long lasting high.

As I was not permanently stationed in Thailand I could not get Thai bricks. A Thai brick is one kilo of Thai weed. The proprietor told me he would only sell the bricks to Americans who had a method of getting weed out of Thailand without upsetting the Thai authorities. But he would sell me as many sticks as I could carry. I told him I'd give it some thought and get back to him.

On my third day in Bangkok I ran into on of my marine buddies. He was all smiles but had saved himself broke. He wanted to borrow some money. He wanted to buy some Thai sticks and smuggle them back into California and sell them. I asked him how much he needed and he told me $75.00. I told him I had the money but it would cut into my fun. He told me he would repay me the $75.00 on payday and, once the Thai weed had been sold, give me 5% of that. Being the charitable sort that I am, I immediately said 'Ok', counted out 1275 Bhat and handed it to him. He went one way and I went back to the hotel in order to be a good companion to my two female friends.

Woefully, we left Thailand two days later en-route to Okinawa, Camp Schwab to be exact. It just wasn't the same, not at all. Everything was expensive and the weed, if you could get any was lousy. Real harsh. My buddy got transfered a couple of months later to Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton, California. A few months after that I was transfered to Headquarters Company, Fifth Marines, First Marine Division - also at Camp Pendleton.

Myself and my friend hooked up a few days after I arrived. Just like he told me in Bangkok he gave me 5% of the take. $200.00. Over the next few years my friend and I made quite a few trips to Thailand, all at government expense. Things were going well for the both of us. It was somewhat humorous that the prevalent weed in the Southern California area of Oceanside, San Clemente and San Diego was Thai weed. Expensive, but worth the price.

I last saw my buddy in 1982. He was getting out of the Corps and I was once again getting transfered back to Okinawa. I would not return to the U. S. until 1993. I drove him off base for the final time and to a Mercedes dealership in San Diego. There he took delivery of a new Mercedes sports coupe. He paid cash.

As I helped him carefully put his stuff into his new car I asked him how he did it. How did he get the weed out of Thailand and into California? His answer was amazingly simple: "HR boxes." Airtight aluminum coffins that the military uses to airlift the remains of dead servicemen back to the States. HR boxes are, or at least were, completely exempt from customs' inspection. I did not ask about any other details. He wouldn't tell me and I didn't want to know.

I haven't been to Thailand since 1993. Some things never change though. Thai weed is one of them.

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Mike Golden, the Radio Rebel